Maya
been back on the apps for about 2 months after a long break. matches are fine but conversations die after like 4 messages. went on 3 dates, all polite, none of them wanted a second.
i'm not looking for uhaul energy on day one but also i'm tired of coffee chats that feel like job interviews.
is this just the mid-30s landscape or do i need to change something about how i show up?
6 replies
Elena
it's the landscape AND the apps. mid-30s dating is weird because half the people know what they want and half are still recovering from something. the polite dead-end dates are so common it's almost a genre.
softbutch42
job interview coffee chats kill me. i started suggesting a walk or a specific activity instead of "grab a drink and interrogate each other." still hits or miss but the hits feel more human.
Priya
also location matters a lot more than people admit. when i lived in a smaller city it was brutal. moved and suddenly people actually replied. not helpful if you can't move, i know — just saying it's not always you.
Maya
the walk idea is good. i've been defaulting to coffee because it felt "safe" but maybe that's part of the sterile vibe
Fran
as someone newly out in this age range… yeah. it's a lot. you're not doing something uniquely wrong.
Tasha
i took a 6 month break from apps and only went to IRL stuff for a while. didn't meet my partner that way but it reset my brain. the apps make everything feel like failure metrics.
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