jess_writes
serious question. i freeze. like fully blank.
i can hold a conversation once it starts but starting one with someone i find attractive? my brain just leaves the building.
what actually works for the shy ones here. not the "just be confident" advice. actual scripts or tiny steps.
6 replies
harper_tea
compliments on something specific and then an exit ramp. "i like your jacket" + smile + keep walking if they don't engage. takes the pressure off needing a full conversation.
Rowan
i used to wait for a "sure" signal. now i just ask one low-stakes question about whatever we're both already in (bookshop, dog park, queue). if they answer with more than one word, i stay. if not, i leave. rejection is mostly just… quiet.
dani
also: queer events lower the stakes because you're not guessing if she's into women. still scary but a different scary.
jess_writes
the exit ramp thing helps psychologically even if i never use it. thank you
nina.b
i practiced on baristas for months. sounds dumb. it worked. small talk muscle is a muscle.
Aisha
one time i complimented a girl's boots and we ended up talking for 40 minutes outside a grocery store. another time someone said "thanks" and that was it. both outcomes fine.
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